We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
