So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
