with your own penis?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she pinky promised me she was 18
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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