So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
