Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
