If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
