You can't special order awesome
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
