I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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