In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
