My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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