The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
