do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
