He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
