cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize