So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
