I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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