..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
