Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
