Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
