I can't watch pbs sober anymore
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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