If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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