I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
