So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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