Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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