Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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