Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
