it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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