someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
