i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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