do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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