I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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