It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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