Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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