Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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