Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
