4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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