K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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