It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
