I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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