I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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