Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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