Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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