just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
