I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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