I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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