Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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