It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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