That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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