Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
