I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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