Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
