She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
