ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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