Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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