Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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