I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
