cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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