she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is wine microwaveable?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
