Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i would one night stand the shit outta him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
