you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
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We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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