My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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