Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me