you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls