I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?