No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.