Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
