You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize