I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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