dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
