i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
