i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Screwed.edu
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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