One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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