duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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