I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
